I'm caught in an unusual phase of life. I had a full time job and lived in a city where I could call up a pal and/or jump on a train and head to a museum or take a walk down the river if the weather permitted. I'm now in a new city, there is no museum where I can simply traipse into, no pals in the same area code, and of course no job. BUT I have a baby that's going to make its appearance into this world in the next 6 weeks. Being 8.5 months pregnant is no joke. I'm a whale and my back can handle only so much activity before I have to sit or lie down. So, even if I wanted to do stuff, my activities would be seriously curtailed by the extra 17 pounds I'm toting around in my belly.I did get a jolt of reality at my last doc appointment this week as I was told I'm already a centimeter dilated and that my cervix has started to thin. As in the little tyke is started to prepare for his journey out and I have nothing -- not even his room-- prepared!! So I took that as a cue that I need to run out to Target and get myself the basics. Nipple cream, nursing bra, diaper rash ointment, diapers ... I'm feeling a whole lot more secure even if it's all still sitting in shopping bags in the "baby room."
I hear I should take full advantage of the next few weeks since I will essentially essentially lose my life as I know it after the baby is born. As someone who stays at home, keeps house, and lives off her hubby, I already feel like I've ceded my independence to some degree. I'm now praying that I find a balance between being mother, wife, housekeeper, and being me. I know it's being done by countless women all around me. So help me if you have any idea how I can create out of my life something that I've willed rather than been forced into.
